This time last year, I was ready to put my business and professional life on hold to spend more time with my Mom who was terminally ill.  As my travel schedule began to pick up and more consulting opportunities came in, I remember telling her I needed to cancel my trips.  She responded very casually with, “Girl, go get your money.”  That was ludicrous & hilarious to me at the time.

Looking back, I know why she said that. She wanted me to face my fears head on.  Last year, I was being tried from every angle and had to make some tough business and personal decisions.  Her illness was the straw that broke the camel’s back for me.  She saw what I was going through and wanted to teach me one final lesson:

“Not even the threat of death should stop me from living my dreams and reaping the rewards.”

If death (of ANY kind) can’t stop you… then nothing can.  Don’t let the end of a job, failed business ventures, betrayals, a failed marriage, a terminal diagnosis, or even the death of a loved one steal your passion and your dreams.  Don’t give your adversaries the satisfaction and don’t disappoint your loved ones- because even in the spirit realm, they’re cheering you on.

I did continue working… with reservations.  My home became a hospice for my Mom; and the support from family & friends made life so much more bearable for us all.  In between nurse visits, meticulous meal preparations, palliative care, managing my salons, teaching classes, running behind a toddler, checking 2nd grade homework, and doing housework- my Mother and I would have long talks about any and everything under the sun.  We’d also watch marathons of Criminal Intent and Top Chef.  We had our routine down pat. Three months after my mother’s terminal diagnosis, I actually broke routine and went on a week-long writing sabbatical about an hour and half away from home.  That’s when I got the call that she took a turn for the worse.  The drive home was agonizing as I prayed over and over, “Lord, please don’t let her die before I get home.” I barely had the car in park before jumping out, bursting into the house, and running up the stairs to her room. She had waited for me. My sisters arrived shortly thereafter, and we all climbed in bed with her and shared a few precious hours with her before she slipped out of consciousness and slowly took her last breath.

I wanted to regret not being with her those last few days.  I wanted to beat myself up for what I felt was ‘putting my business before her.’  But I couldn’t.  I had loved her and shown her. I had told her all of the things I needed her to know.  I had done all that I could do for her financially, emotionally, physically and spiritually.  She was loved, and she knew it.  According to this beautiful, wise, spitfire of a woman, the only thing left for me to do was “to live.”  Though she lay slowly dying for months, she wanted me to live… she wanted all of her children to live.  Imagine that.

It has taken me nine months to resume writing.  Nine months to find the strength and clarity to move forward.  Though I still grieve and mourn her physical absence almost daily, I know that every time I put my pen to paper… every time I save a completed chapter entry…every time I document a new business solution- I know that I am staring death in the face and saying, “…this vision shall live and not die.”

What obstacle or challenge is threatening your vision?  What abrupt ending has halted your progress?  What fear has paralyzed you and caused you to put your dreams on hold? I encourage you to face your fear.  In the midst of change, chaos, confusion, grief, and despair…LIVE.  Dream. Work.  Finish what you’ve started.  Death (of any kind) is not an ending. It is a passageway for new beginnings and a reminder to live while you can.