Soul Train brought the hottest African-American (and mainstream) entertainers into our homes every week and gave us the blueprint for a party ritual that may never die: the Soul Train Line.  Don Cornelius was like a cool uncle who’d throw great block parties for the kids, then go back into the house (behind-the-scenes), only coming out every now and then to bring snacks and goodies- so not to hover. He was super cool.  I will also forever be indebted to this television pioneer for introducing me to the love of my musical life: El DeBarge.  When DeBarge made their Soul Train debut singing “I Like It” circa 1982/83, it was love at first site.  I may have even kissed the television screen and left wet slob marks that day by the time they came out to sing their second song, “All this Love.”  Lord, have  mercy… I pray there is a special place in heaven for Mr. Cornelius.

Though I didn’t think much of it as a child, we owe a debt of gratitude to George Johnson and his ethnic hair care company Johnson Products for the financial backing that made it possible for Soul Train to move from Chicago to Hollywood in 1971…then into homes all around the country.  The shift from local television to syndication was a game changer for the show, the creator, and the hair care company.  Die hard Soul Train fans can never forget the segue to commercial breaks and the conclusion of the show:

“…brought to you by Afro Sheen, Ultra Sheen and Ultra Sheen Cosmetics.”  

You know, the blue jar of hair dress that promised to “turn on the lights in your hair…and condition in an instant.”  As it turns out, 1971 was also a big year for the makers of Ultra Sheen and Afro Sheen. That’s when Johnson Products Company, Inc. became the first African American-owned firm to be listed on the American Stock Exchange (now known as the New York Stock Exchange).  The company has been through a couple of corporate hands since its initial sell in 1993, but it’s good to know that the products are still on the market— representing a legacy of Love, Peace, and Soooouuuuul!!!!

VIDEO: Ultra Sheen commercial

VIDEO: DeBarge on Soul Train singing – “I Like It” circa 1982/83

Looking back, I know why she said that. She wanted me to face my fears head on.  Last year, I was being tried from every angle and had to make some tough business and personal decisions.  Her illness was the straw that broke the camel’s back for me.  She saw what I was going through and wanted to teach me one final lesson:

“Not even the threat of death should stop me from living my dreams and reaping the rewards.”

If death (of ANY kind) can’t stop you… then nothing can.  Don’t let the end of a job, failed business ventures, betrayals, a failed marriage, a terminal diagnosis, or even the death of a loved one steal your passion and your dreams.  Don’t give your adversaries the satisfaction and don’t disappoint your loved ones- because even in the spirit realm, they’re cheering you on.

I did continue working… with reservations.  My home became a hospice for my Mom; and the support from family & friends made life so much more bearable for us all.  In between nurse visits, meticulous meal preparations, palliative care, managing my salons, teaching classes, running behind a toddler, checking 2nd grade homework, and doing housework- my Mother and I would have long talks about any and everything under the sun.  We’d also watch marathons of Criminal Intent and Top Chef.  We had our routine down pat. Three months after my mother’s terminal diagnosis, I actually broke routine and went on a week-long writing sabbatical about an hour and half away from home.  That’s when I got the call that she took a turn for the worse.  The drive home was agonizing as I prayed over and over, “Lord, please don’t let her die before I get home.” I barely had the car in park before jumping out, bursting into the house, and running up the stairs to her room. She had waited for me. My sisters arrived shortly thereafter, and we all climbed in bed with her and shared a few precious hours with her before she slipped out of consciousness and slowly took her last breath.

I wanted to regret not being with her those last few days.  I wanted to beat myself up for what I felt was ‘putting my business before her.’  But I couldn’t.  I had loved her and shown her. I had told her all of the things I needed her to know.  I had done all that I could do for her financially, emotionally, physically and spiritually.  She was loved, and she knew it.  According to this beautiful, wise, spitfire of a woman, the only thing left for me to do was “to live.”  Though she lay slowly dying for months, she wanted me to live… she wanted all of her children to live.  Imagine that.

It has taken me nine months to resume writing.  Nine months to find the strength and clarity to move forward.  Though I still grieve and mourn her physical absence almost daily, I know that every time I put my pen to paper… every time I save a completed chapter entry…every time I document a new business solution- I know that I am staring death in the face and saying, “…this vision shall live and not die.”

What obstacle or challenge is threatening your vision?  What abrupt ending has halted your progress?  What fear has paralyzed you and caused you to put your dreams on hold? I encourage you to face your fear.  In the midst of change, chaos, confusion, grief, and despair…LIVE.  Dream. Work.  Finish what you’ve started.  Death (of any kind) is not an ending. It is a passageway for new beginnings and a reminder to live while you can.